WOMAN, THE INTERPRETER

ezerdsed by them a nobler influence . . . nor is it difficult to imagine that the féminine influence might thus sway to the évolution of a more manly and digniûed raoe.^

Sexual sélection by the man has lèd to the production of three prominent t5rpes of woman in modem society • — the " lady, a mère dressed doU," the household drudge, and the prostitute, both mondaine and demi-mondaine. Of the three, perhaps the last is the least remote from the proper dignity of womanhood. With the émancipation of woman to the point of an equal voice with man in sexual sélection, thèse tjrpes might not disappear, but they would be submitted to extrême revaluation, and would be altogether dominated in social power and place by a new and grander type,

who, combtning broad sensé ^th sensibility, the passion for Nature with the love of Man, and commanding indeed the détails of life, yet risen out of localism and convention, will help us to undo the bands of death which encircle the présent society, and open the doors to a new and a wider life.*

And the children of thèse equal unions 1 No one has ever depicted, in language so beautiful in itself and so beautifuUy fitted to the émotion it expresses, the brooding désire of the mother over her wanted child as yet unbom, as Carpenter in the following Unes:

1 Looe's Corning of Age, p. 65.

> ïlfid., p. 43. « Ibid., p. 71.

MOTHER AND CBHD 180

I am amazed and troubled, my child, sh« whispefs — at the thought of you ; I hardly dare to speak of it, you are so sacred ;

When I feel you leap I do not know myself any more — I am ûlled with wonder and joy — Ah 1 if any injnry should happen to you I

I will keep my body pure, very pure ; the sweet air will I breathe and pure water drLnk; I will stay out in the open, hours together, that my flesh may become pure and fragrant for your sake ;

Holy thoughts will I think ; I will brood in the thought of mother-love. I will ûll myself with beauty; trees and running brooks shall be my companions ;

And I will pray that I may become transparent — that the Sun may shine and the moon, my beloved, upon you,

£ven before you are bom.^

A passage adequately complemented by the closing Unes of " The Baba " :

And then the Babe ;

A tiny perfect sea-shell on the shore

By the waves gently laid (the awful waves !) —

By trembling hands received — a folded message —

A babe yet slumbering, with a ripple on its face

Hemindful of the océan.

And two twined forms that overbend it, smiling.

And wonder to what land Love must hâve joumeyed,

Who brought this back — this word of sweetest mean-

ing;

Two lives made one, and visible as one. And herein ail Création.*

This unveils an idyllic pictnre indeed ; and yet what proportion of usual marriages off er anything

1 r. D., p. 92. » Ihid,, p 424^

IdO IfAÏRiMOKY

like the coimterpart of it? It is no part of Carpenter's plan to abuse the institution of marriage. He sees clearly enough, however, that

as long as man is only haU-grown, and woman is a serf or a parasite, it can hardly be expected that marriage should be particularly successful.^

Two people corne together, knowing little of each other, and of ten under the delusive glamour of physical désire — this especially on the man' s side. " To one the subject of sex is probably a sealed book, to the other perhaps a book whose most dismal page has been opened first. The man needs an outlet for his passion ; the girl is looking for a ' home ' and a proprietor." • They marry without misgivings, very light-heartedly. Ât a later hour they realise that a Ufe-sentence has been passed upon them. When the novelty of the situation has wom off , and the excess of physical passion dissipated, their inner selves corne to the surface, and they awake to find that they hâve not kno^vn each other. But it is too late. Nature wanted them for her purposes; the Law and the Church stepped in, and said, " Yes, but on our terms." Those terms are a légal and religion-sanctioned bond which cannot be broken without public damage and disgrâce, *' till death do you part." And the Church, which strangely allows almost everything else in Bible or Prayerbook to be interpreted in other than a literal

* Lavê's Corning of Agé, p. 73. « Ibid., p. 74*

MATRIMONY 191

sensé, ivill not permit that " death " hère should signify that death of mutual interest and sympathy which sunders far more completely and bitterly than the physical catastrophe. They are bound. They are not twain, but simply coupled.

The monetary dependence of the woman, the mère sex-needs of the man, the fear of public opinion, ail form motives, and motives of the meanest kind, for maintaining the seeming tie ; and the relation of the two hardens down into a dull neutrality, in which lives and chaiacters are narrowed and blunted, and deceit becomes the common weapon which guards divided interests.^

The situation presses most heavily upon the woman ; " how bitterly alone such a woman feels r\ her delusions shattered, her womanly dignity humiliated, yet dépendent and unable to take the initiative in putting an end to it. Âlong with this goes — for tragédies do not come in spies but in battaUons — the brutal physical demand of the husbaiid on an unwilling wife (conjugal rights !), the unwanted child, the endless leading of a double Ufe, and the création of a tjrpe of family

too often like that which is disclosed when on tuming o ver a large stone we disturb an insect Home that seldom sees the light.*

But an institution is not to be abandoned just because it happens to hâve a seamy side. It

1 Lwtfs Corning of Age, p. 75. • Ibid,, p, 87.

194 TRAGEDY OF THE f ÔRMAL BOND

would be idle to deny the educational value of the marriage-bond, or that it tends to concentrate afiectional expérience, or that it keeps two people together during a perhaps unavoidable p^od of strain and friction, and so gives them the opportunity of leaming one of the best lessons of Uf e — forbearance and gentleness ; or that, in itself , the existence of such a tie discrédits the idea that mère pleasure is the object of the marriage association. Equally absnrd would it be to deny that there are many happy marriages ; in the great majority of thèse cases, however, one knows that the union would hâve been just as real and permanent apart from the sanctions of State and Church. Love is the only marriage-maker ; and while, by common consent, our présent marriage laws need to be reformed, the determining prindple of such ref orm must be the compléter reaUzation of Love. Nothing ultimately will serve well the State which does disservice to Love.

Carpenter, indeed, does not seem to hope much from an altération of the law in relation to marriage. He looks rather to the graduai émancipation of woman, already spoken of , which will eff ect prof ound and subtle changes in the marriage relation ; and thèse the law will in the end be compelled to recognise.

It is évident that no very great change for iiie better in marhage-relations can take place except as the accompaniment of deep-lying changes in Society at large; and that altérations in the law alone will eâect but a

LOVE MAKES THE HâRRIAGE 108

limited improvement. More likely is it tfaat, nnderneath the law, the common practice will slide lorward into newer customs.^

What thèse " newer customs " will be is difficult to foresee. The drift will almost certainly be towards greater freedom ; Love may give pledges, but can never without self-hurt and contradiction demand promises, and no contract has ever been frained that could bind Love. So long, however, as formai contracts are considered necessary (with regard particularly to property and to children) they should tend to lose

Hieir irrévocable and rigid character, and become in some d^ree adapted to the needs of the contracting parties.*

It is commonly imagined that reform in matters such as thèse must come always along the somewhat arid and unromantic Une of scientific inqtdries, sodological statistics, royal commissions, and législation embodying the conclusions so reached. This is to miss the real begiimings of things. A new reform is worthless save in so far as^ it registers a new vision, a new f eeling, a new attitude on the part of the people as a whole. To create and estabUsh this is the first thing. Modern sodety needs to be qmckened by the warning which Carpenter utters in an allegorical poem, *' I saw a Fair House," in which he depicts the mistress of the house sitting alone amidst its

1 Levé* s Corning of Age, p. m. " Ibid,, p. io8,