RECUEIL DE BONS MOTS
À physician, who lived in London, visited a lady who lived at Chelsea : after continuing his visits for some time, the lady expressed an apprehension, that it might be inconvenient to him to come so far on her account. Oh! Madam, replied the doctor, 1 have another patient in this neighbourhood ; and by that means, you know, I killlwo birds with one stone.
A lady’s age happening to be questioned, she affirmed it was but forty, and called a gentleman who was in company, to deliver his opinion. Cousin, said she, do you believe 1 am right, when I saÿ L'am but forty ? Î’m sure, Mudam, said he, I 'ought not to dispute it ; for I have constantly heard you say so for above these len years.
An Irishman, being asked if he understood french, replied : Fes, Joy, T'understand french perfectly well, provided it's spoken in irish.
A gentleman having lent a guinea for two or three days to a person whose promises he had not much faith in, was very much surprised to find that he very punctually kept his word with him. The same gentleman being some time after desirous of borrowing a large sum, No, said the other, you have deceived me once, and I am resolved you shall not do it a second time.
An English gentleman asked Sir R, Steele, who was an Irishman, what was the reason that his countrymen were so remarkable for blandering, and makiog bulls ? Faith, said the knight, 1 beliere there is something in the air of Ireland ; and I dare say, if un Englishman were born there, he would do the same,
À man, complaining to a friend that his wife’s drunkenness and ill conduct had almost ruined him, concluded, as the vuigar usually do, and for goodness suke, whal’s to be said for it ? Nothing that Lhnow, says his friend, can be said for it, but much against if.
Ao Irishman having a looking-glass in his hand, shut his eyes, and placed it before his face : another asking him why he did so, Upon my shoul says Teague, it ish to see how I look when T am ashleep.
Lora Chesterfield was asked at court one day, what he thought of lady Coventry, whose complexion was evidently of her own manufacture : Really, replied his lordship, Z am no connoisseur in
painting.
An Italian gentleman who was dangerously iil, and at the same time heavily charged with debts, told his confessor, that the only favour he had to ask of heaven, was, that his life might be prolonged till he had discharged them. l'hen, replied the priest, since your reason for wishing to live is so just, [ pray that your prayers may he heard, Ay ! father, answered the sick man, L pray that they may ; Jor Lam sure, if E live till pay my debts, E shall never die.
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